
The Librarian from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series. Ook !
Discworld : The Librarian by ~kinkajoomotion
Looking around the city, Rose wondered if there really was a dog named Wuffles that the Doctor needed to talk to someone about. Who cared, really? He finally trusted her enough to let her wander around alone on an alien planet! Well, not exactly alone her, since he’d told two policemen to accompany her; they were funny, in their breastplates and helmets. It was like someone had taken London, added medieval times and some wonky ideas, and given it a good shake…
“Would you like to try a meat pie?”
Rose turned to see the man who was, unbeknownst to her, one of the most notorious in Ankh-Morpork, behind only Vetinari and Vimes (and possibly Carrot, only he wasn’t so much “notorious” as “well-known”*).
“What?”
“Meat pie, bubbling hot and full of - meat.”
“Oh, I’d love one; thanks.” And before Colon and Nobby could stop her, she picked one off of the tray and took a generous bite. Dibbler, the Watchmen, and the crowd around them waited with horrified fascination for her reaction**.
“Mm. Just like my mum makes them. They’re great.”
“How exactly,” asked Sergent Colon after a moment, “does your mum make them?”
-
Innumerable light years away, Jackie Tyler was stricken by a fit of sneezing.
- *The differences between the two terms is often negligible.
- **Although the smarter ones were edging backwards.
Discworld (c) Terry Pratchett
Doctor Who (c) BBC

They look at each other across the expanse of the desk, two men with old eyes, eyes that have seen too much and look through a man to his soul.
“You haven’t changed a bit,” the stranger says, relaxing into the chair as if he’s sat there before.
“And you have,” Lord Vetinari replies.
“Tell me, what does a man intent on violence want in Ankh-Morphork?”
“I don’t want to wage war on your city.”
“You’re one man. What makes you talk as though you could wipe out an entire metropolis?”“Trust me, you don’t want to find out.”
-
“Just swung by, think there’s going to be a big temporal-transitional disturbance in the morphic resonance area that the monks - oh, sorry, you don’t know about them yet - wouldn’t be able to keep up with.”
“And what would that be?”
“No idea so far, but I’m working on it.”
-
“You’ve redecorated. I don’t think I like it.”
“Perhaps next time you should arrive in time to give your opinion.”
Discworld (c) Terry Pratchett; image by Paul Kidby
Doctor Who (c) BBC; screencaps from doctorwho.rawr-caps.net and disparue.org.
The world rests upon a turtle, which itself stands on the back of an elephant!
- Behemoth, by Scott Westerfeld
Scott Westerfeld apparently got a few things wrong when he read Discworld.

“That… what is that?”
“That,” the Doctor said, “is called Discworld. Lots of gods and guards and wizards but only one wizzard and, fortunately, one Patrician. Only man I’ve ever met that I think would have no trouble ruling the universe.”
“It’s got elephants. It’s on a turtle. That’s impossible!”
The Doctor grinned. “It’s a big universe out there, Amelia Pond. And this is only the start.”
I blame… well, I blame myself. But can you imagine the adventures?
Discworld (c) Terry Prachett; image by Paul Kidby
Doctor Who (c) BBC; cap from timelordcaps@tumblr

1. All fungi are edible.
2. Some fungi are not edible more than once.